Friday, September 18, 2009

AD&AM Go to the Movies: He Got Game

Movie: He Got Game

Starring: Ray Allen (yes, the basketball player), Denzel Washington, Rosario Dawson (young version, but still FINE), Jim Brown (yes, the football player) "Radio" from "Do the Right Thing," Milla Jovovich

Plot: Jesus Shuttlesworth (Allen) is the top high school basketball player in the country, but with the deadline to sign with a college less than a week away, Jesus has yet to choose one. Meanwhile, everyone, his family, coach, friend, and girlfriend, has an opinion of what he should do. If that wasn't enough, Jesus's dad, Jake (Washington), who is in prison for the accidental murder of his wife (Jesus's mom) is temporarily released from jail on a "work-release" program. Turns out, the governor happens to be a big college basketball fan and wants Jesus to attend his alma mater, the fictional Big State University. Jake has a week to persuade his son to attend Big State, if he does, he will reduce Jake's sentence substantially.

Reaction: I saw this movie in the theater when it first came out, but watching it some 10 years later, gives me a different perspective on it. The movie deals with three main themes, basketball, celebrity, and the relationship between a father and son. Though the movie revolves around basketball, there's not a lot of it in the movie, save for a pickup game, and the climactic scene between Jake and Jesus. Every kid dreams of one day making it big in sports, and Jesus is on the verge, but that glamooruous life doesn't look as appealing. Everybody wants something from Jesus, even if it's just to rub elbows with him, and it's hard for Jesus to weed out who's really there for him, and who just wants things from him. Denzel is terrific as Jake, but it was hard for me to get past the fact that it was Ray Allen the basketball player, acting, even though the basketball scenes are that much better because he's an actual professional basketball player. The subplot of Jake courting a prostitue (Jovovich) is also unnecessary.

Rating: Though the move can drag at times, the climactic basketball game scene with Jake ands Jesus, as well as Jesus's recruting visit with friends Jill and Chasey make this movie worht it alone. good times. Weird subplot and Ray Allen dock it though. "He Got Game" gets 3 quarters and a nickel, for 80 cents.

Time to Write Down the Unwritten Rules of Pick-up Basketball

I love Hawaii. I really do. This place is amazing, there's nothing in the world like it. But there's two things about Hawaii that I can't stand: 1.) The lack of quality Mexican food, and 2.) People don't know how to conduct themselves on the basketball court.

I've been playing pick-up basketball a long time and I've watched it for even longer. My Dad would play every Saturday morning at Walter Haas Park in Diamond Heights and he'd take me with him when I was 4. I literally grew up watching, and playing it. There's something beautiful about pick-up ball. 10 strangers just competing, no shoe deals, no commercials, no instant replay, no thousands of people in attendance, just playing for the love of the game. You can tell a lot about a person by how they conduct themselves on the court, how they react to a call, how they treat their teammates and opponents, and how they react after a win or a loss.

But for whatever reason, players in Hawaii aren't as refined to the game as on the Mainland, and the one that are, aren't from here. There's a certain etiquette to streetball, unwritten rules that palyers have to follow, and I'm going to write them down.

1.) Full court games gotta have 10 people, 5-on-5. Anything less goes half-court.

2.) All games go to 15 by 1s and 2s. If there is more than one team, 5 people waiting, games go to 11. The point is to get as many games in as a possible.

3.) You gotta win by 2.

4.) Winning team gets to stay on the court. Always.

5.) Find 4 other people, and call "Next." Loud. Really loud. So that everyone at the park can hear you. You can't call Next until you have a whole team.

6.) If there are less than 5 people waiting, losing team shoots free throws to determine who gets to fill in for the Next team. Everyone gets to shoot at least once.

7.) Score is always announced after every basket and before every inbound.

8.) Last game of the night always goes to 21.

9.) (There's always a debate of who should call fouls, offense or defense. I don't really think it matters, but this will help clarify it.) Only the person committing the foul, or the person getting fouled can call the foul. If you're standing at the 3-point line or running up court when someone hets hacked in the key, don't say anything.

10.) No ticky-tack calls. If it's game point, and someone calls 3-in-the-key, when it hasn't been called all game long, it's ok to call that person names that are also women's genitalia and say thigns about their mother.

11.) Expect contact. People here take contact too personally. It's a physical game. You have 10 people on a court, jostling for position, battling for rebounds, and swatitng at the ball. Every now and again there's going to be some contact that might be a little harder than expected, take them accordingly and don't be an idiot and start an altercation.

Now print this out and send it to every park and court on the Island.


I Saw This Movie The 1st Time When It Was Called "Disturbia"


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Presenting...Ceyonce Knows and the NBA Draft

So, we were thinking, is it fair that we have our own piece of cyber space for the world to hear our thoughts? Well, yea, actually it is. But like Uncle Ben told Peter, "With great power, comes great responsibility." So we're giving our friends guest spots where they get to speak their mind and talk about whatever they want, using our site as a forum. Cuz that's what we do here at A Dime & A Nickel, people helping people.

Our first guest blogger is "Ceyonce Knows." Ceyonce happens to be the "cousin" (the way colored people use the word "cousin," not like actual blood-related cousin) of Jrue Holiday. Jrue played basketball at UCLA and after his Freshman year, declared for the NBA Draft. Ceyonce was part of Jrue's entourage and accomapnied him to New York for the NBA draft. As an aspiring sports journalist I've always wondered what happened at these things, luckily, Ceyonce was there to tell us what transpired.

"We arrived in New York around 10pm and were picked up in a black SUV and headed to the Westin in Times Square. As we pull up to the hotel, the driver says, "Oh wow, there's still fanfare." By this time, it's about midnight. And then it hit me, we were staying in the same hotel as all the draftees! (AD&AN: Ceyonce is a HUGE fan of tall men, athletic men, and Black men, and when you put her in a confined area with tall, athletic, Black men, well, let's just say she probably needed a new pair of underwear.) Now, this was bad and wonderful at the same time. It was bad, because well...I already have a huge ego. I think I'm a princess, and although I have no fame-worthy talents, I feel like I belong with the stars, because I am one. So naturally walking in and out of the hotel surrounded by fanfare made me feel like a bigger deal than I already thought I was. But the wonderful part was that i was like a kid in the candy store! I mean, anyone who knows me knows what my weaknesses are: food, music, and most of all tall, dark, handsome, athletic men (AD&AN: Told you.); all of which were in abundance around me. enough about me. It was all about Jrue, well at least for the 20ish of us that flew to New York to support him. Thursday morning (the morning of the draft) there was a bruncheon for all the draftees and families, however there was a limit as to how many family members could go, so all the cousins under the age of 40 got cut. I wasnt bitter at all, who wants to sit at a boring brunch anyway. (*insert sarcasm HERE*)
As it got closer to the actual draft we were all getting anxious! Jrue, his parents, older brother, and agent left early. At about 6, the rest of us left. When we got to Madison Square Garden, it was CRAZY!! What we didnt realize before was that yes we had tickets, but it was open seating. There were certain areas reserved for families, but other than that, seating was a free. Lucky for us, we have young, talented athletes in the family that were more than glad to SPRINT as soon as they opened the doors to get good seats. We sat in the second row! Obviously as the clock counted down till 7:00pm, the anticipation continued to grow. Then finally, NBA Commissioner David Stern walks out. HERE WE GO! Well we already knew who the first 3 picks were going to be, so those were a breeze. Jrue was projected to go anywhere between 4 and 10, so this is where we all start to get antsy. Alright, so 4th pick...Tyreke Evans...alright. The Warriors liked him so he should be 7...nope, Stephen Curry. Ok ok, everyone in New York was talking about Jrue Holiday, so let go he's next. Wrong again, Jordan Hill. Alright, alright the Raptors LOVED Jrue, he's going to Canada...Demar DeRozan. Oh by the way, there is a 5 minute interval between each pick soo by this point the draft has been going on for almost an hour, ADD started to kick in about 20 minutes into the draft AD&AN: I'm not sure if Ceyonce has ever been diagnosed with ADD, but it's kinda of one of those things where it's pretty much obvious). Hunger started to kick in an hour into it (AD&AN: Should've gone to theat bruncheon). So by the time we get to the 15th pick, I have to pee, I'm anxious, I'm hungry, and to top it all off my cousin has not been picked yet!! Then FINALLY it happened he was picked! The rest of the draft is a blur. To be honest, I checked out after Jrue got picked, all I could focus on was food (AD&AN: And young, athletic, soon to be very rich men)! The funny part was when we got back from dinner at about 1am, there was still fanfare outside the hotel. And as we got out of the taxi with Jrue, they were all yelling "Jrue! Jrue!", asking for autographs, some had pictures of him. Its strange to think of Jrue as "famous" but, he definitely is in Philly. They love him out there. And Jrue is happy to be there. While all of us were getting impatient and anxious as the draft went on, Jrue wasn't. He said the whole time he was fine, because he knew he would end up where he was supposed to be.
"With the 17th pick in the 2009 NBA draft, the Philadelphia 76ers select Jrue Holiday from UCLA." That was it, that one sentence that lasted no more than 10 seconds was what we had all waited for. It was what we spent our money to come to New York for. And in the end, it was well worth it. I am so proud of him and what he has accomplished at the tender age of 19. And to top it all off anyone who knows or has met Jrue knows what a good kid he is. It's funny, my Mom told me, "Just think, there's gonna be girls that think of Jrue the way you think of Dwight Howard." Now thats just gross!"


Monday, August 31, 2009

UFC 101

Yes, UFC 101 was more than 3 weeks ago, and yes, UFC 102 happened already, but I made a running diary of the night's events and present it now to you. The card featured Hawaii's very own, BJ Penn defending his Lightweight Championship against Kenny Florian. Here it is, all times are guessimated and are Hawaii Standard Time.

4:00pm: I'm coming live to you from the KHON2 news studio in Honolulu, HI in a room of about 20 people, all rooting for Penn. (I actually met Penn at the studio, he came in to do an interview and it amazed me how short he is in person. It always amazes me when I see how short celebrities are. I saw one of the dudes from the Yin-Yang Twins I swore I could've stepped on him.) Joining me are Ocean, who's sitting next to me, and Sant and Joe who are at 1 Valdez Ave. back home in San Francisco.

4:04: I can text who I think is going to win the main event, Penn or Florian. There's no way Penn's losing this fight. I'd bet my left testicle on it. (I actually bet Joe $10 and a beer Penn wins.) And no way more than 40% of people think Florian's gonna win. I'd bet "Righty" on that one too. "Florian even looks scared in his picture." Ocean says, he's right. If I had anything in my bank account, I'd bet it all on Penn.

4:11: It's time for our first fight, and here's our ring announcer, Bruce Buffer! Michael Buffer's younger, half-brother. (The "Let's Get Ready to Rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmble" guy.) As if being a younger brother didn't suck enough, he has to follow in his older brother's footsteps, and predictably, he's nowhere near as good. Imagine if Oxygen or Noggin ried to get Miley Cyrus's little sister or something to do a show. Always seeing Bruce Buffer for the first time at a UFC event always makes me laugh. Good times…

4:12: Our first fight is Josh Neer taking on Kurt Pellegrino, 3 rounds in the Lightweight division. Pellegrino has bleached blonde hair and he's named after mineral water, no way he wins.

4:13: The fight starts and Pellegrino offers his hand to touch gloves. Neer doesn't respond. Yeah, Pellegrino's definitely not winning.

4:26: After the first two rounds, Neer's surprisingly getting his ass kicked. Now would be a good time to mention that one of Neer's sponsors is the "Condom Depot," Figures, because he's about as useful as a broken one right now. Neer's efforts definitely wouldn't ever make me want to buy a condom from there, ever. Bad move by Condom Depot. Would you want to buy a Big Mac if McDonald's sponsored FEMA right after Hurricane Katrina?

4:28: "I feel like Joe Rogan's wearing his hat backwards right now," Ocean says. Joe Rogan, yes, THAT Joe Rogan from "Fear Factor" is one of UFC's announcers, and he's surprisingly really good. He knows a lot about mixed martial arts and makes funny, random, off-color observations. He feels like one of the guys that would be sitting in your living room watching the fights with you. And in the end, isn't that what an announcer should be?

4:30: One of the best parts of living in Hawaii is the delicious and diverse cuisine. But for all the great food they have here on the Islands though, the Mexican food sucks. The best Mexican they have out here is Taco Bell. Ocean and I are trying a spicy tuna roll right now. I like tuna, and I like spicy things so I should like this, right? (Note: This train of thought does not always work. One time I went to this restaurant that made specialty pizzas, and I ordered one that had brie cheese and duck on it. I thought to myself, "Hey, I like brie, I like duck, and I like pizza, so I'll like brie duck pizza! It was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten.)

4:31: The spicy tuna roll is not that bad.

4:32: Neer gets dominated for 14 minutes, and fights well for the last minute of the fight. Pellegrino wins by unanimous decision.

4:35: There's actually 2 other Hawaiian fighters on the card and one of them is fighting now, Kendall "The Spider" Grove from Maui, who won the 3rd season of "The Ultimate Fighter." He's fighting Ricardo Almeida in the Middleweight division. He's coming out to T.I.'s "What You Know?" I always thought that you could tell a lot about a fighter by what song he comes out too. Not a bad choice by Grove.

4:39: They show celebrities in the audience and there's former UFC champion, Tito Ortiz. But I'm more interested with who's sitting next to him, his wife, the most famous porn star of all-time, Jenna Jameson. "Didn't she give birth to twins?" Ocean asks in a surprised tone. I don't know why everyone seems so surprised that Jenna Jameson had kids. Like that's the most shocking thing that's come out of her vagina.

4:40: Kendall Grove is 185 pounds, but he's also 6'6". He looks like a kickstand.

4:56: Grove gets dominated by Almeida, yet at the end of the fight he raises his arms in victory. I always hated this subplot about boxing/UFC. A fighter clearly loses but just because he goes the distance celebrates like he won the fight. As if the real prize was just to go the whole fight without getting knocked or not submitting. I'm going to try a version of this, next time I don't study and bomb a test I'm just going to hand it in and celebrate and then act outraged when I get it back and it has 'F' on it. Grove will be lucky just to win a round.

4:57: He doesn't. Almeida wins in a unanimous decision, 30-27 on all scorecards.

5:03: Another Ultimate Fighter winner, Amir Sadollah, from Season 7, is fighting next. He's coming out to some weird techno/Arab song. His opponent looks like the bearded dude from "Knocked Up." I feel like this is a good time to go to the bathroom.

5:04: And I don't even have time too because Sadollah got knocked out in 30 seconds. Apparently "The Ultimate Fighter" sucks.

5:05: Ocean thinks the referee stopped the fight too early, I disagree. Sadollah wasn't even defending himself. I don’t think you can ever fault a referee for ending a fight prematurely. It's for the fighter's own good. I've worked at summer camps for like 6 years and the camp directors always says the same thing, "safety is the most important thing, you can never be too safe." That's how I feel like the referees feel. Better to stop a fight too early than too late.

5:10: Time for the second local boy's fight, "Sugar" Shane Nelson taking on Aaron Riley. (Is it that hard to come up with a nickname for fighters? There already is a "Sugar" Shane Moseley in boxing, not to mention the two former "Sugar Ray's," Robinson and Leonard. And then there's "Sugar "Rashad Evans, who also fights in UFC. We'll get to this more later.)

5:30: After clearly losing the first two rounds, Nelson's corner blatantly lies to him and tells him that he's still in the fight. (Another one of my favorite boxing/UFC subplots.) Nelson needs a miracle to win this one.

5:31: There's a fight in the stands that's evoking a bigger reaction from the fans than the fight. Even the announcers are commenting on the fight outside the Octagon. (Yet another one of my favorite boxing/UFC subplots.)

5:34: Fight's over. "I will burn my headset and run naked through the crowd," Joe Rogan says if Nelson wins. He doesn't and we're spared the sight of Joe Rogan's penis. They should've made that a segment on "Fear Factor."

5:35: Time for the co-main event, Middleweight champion, Anderson Silva moving up a weight class to take on former Light Heavyweight champion, and original "Ultimate Fighter" winner, Forrest Griffin, in the Light Heavyweight division. Griffin is Sant and Ocean's favorite fighter. I'm honestly more excited for this one than I am for Penn-Florian.

5:36: The UFC shows a montage to pump us up for the upcoming bout. Griffin looks ready and focused. So much so, I advised Niggy to put money on it, he bet $5 to win $11.25. I wonder if he'll split any of the winnings with me?

5:37: For some weird reason, the UFC bleeps out the cuss words in the package. We're paying $60 for this fight, Joe Rogan's talking about running naked, bare-chested men are beating each other with their fists and legs, and I can't hear someone say "shit?" Really?

5:38: Silva, from Brazil, doesn't speak English and needs a translator for the package. Silva's arguably one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the world, but he doesn't have the time to learn English? All his fights are in America? I don't like Silva. At all.

5:39: Griffin comes out to the theme song from "The Departed." That's it, I'm convinced, I'm out and out rooting for Griffin to whoop Silva's ugly, Portuguese-speaking candy-ass.

5:43: Silva, to the shock of Ocean and I, comes out to "Ain't No Sunshine" by DMX. HE DOESN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!! I don't like DMX, and I hate oldies that get sampled, I want Griffin to break Silva's arm. I will not be satisfied with anything less.

5:48: Fight starts. Philadelphia loves Griffin and starts a "Let's go Forrest (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)" chant. My man-crush on Forrest is growing.

5:49: Silva rocks Forrest.

5:50: See above. And after a big right, Forrest shakes his head as if he realizes it's not going to be his night. This is not going to end well.

5:51: Silva's toying with Forrest. Hands down, easily avoiding Forrest's strikes. It's like he's playing the UFC video game on "easy," only it's real-life. This is a mismatch, this is an execution. This is bad.

5:52: SILVA KNOCKS OUT FORREST WITH A JAB HE DIDN'T STEP INTO WHILE MOVING BACKWARDS!!! THAT WAS AMAZING! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! THAT WAS A CLINIC! I CAN'T STOP USING CAPITALS! THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLY IMPRESSIVE! Anderson Silva just made the former Light Heavyweight champion look like a 5 year-old. Ocean's so upset he walks out of the room. Forget Shaft, Anderson Silva is a bad… "SHUT YO' MOUTH!!!

5:53: From Sant: "Woooow." Yes, with 4 o's.

5:55: Silva uses broken English to get through his post-fight interview. Not only that, he has a high-pitched voice. You can't trust grown men with high-pitched voices. For the 2nd question he speaks Portuguese, which sounds like an aggressive, violent, uglier version of Spanish. Ew.

5:56: From Sant again: "Just tooo raw man. Wow man."

5:58: From Joe: "Speechless."

5:59: I text the results to Niggy. His response, "It's cool. I'll add it to your tab." Whack.

6:00: Leonidas does an interview to promote his new movie, "Gamer." (I don't care if Gerard Butler ends up marrying one of my sisters and becomes the father to my future nieces and nephews, I will forever refer to him as "Leonidas." Kind of like how I call Christian Bale, "Batman," and how I call Hugh Jackman, "Wolverine." This unfortunately made one of my friends mad when I told them there was a movie with Batman and Wolverine, "The Prestige," which is an amazing movie by the way, and then he realized I was talking about Bale and Jackman and not the characters. Oh well. And one least note to end this tangent, Gerard Butler played one of the best movie characters of all time, a real man's man, heterosexual man develop man-crushes on him, and then he starts doing chick-flicks and romantic comedies? What a douche! This is like when Shannon Elizabeth stopped showing her breasts anymore after that's what made her famous in "American Pie." Anyone heard from her since?)

6:05: 70% of the people who voted said Penn will win. That's 30% that voted for Florian for all you people that missed Math that day. I'll end the night with at least one of my balls. And in the end, isn't that really all you need?

6:09: I'm in a pro-Penn room, and am obviously going for the local boy (I even shook his hand once), but Kenny Florian is coming out to the Octagon to "The Champ" by Ghostface Killah. I'm singing the words to the Wu-Tang and UFC. I think I might want to root for Florian.

6:11: BJ comes out to a bad-ass Hawaiian chant and "E Ala E" by Braddah Iz. I tell Ocean I'm jumping ship, he dresses me down like a new recruit. Ah well.

6:14: I just found out that Florian is 33, 4 years older than BJ. And his nickname is "Ken-Flo." Yeah, I'm definitely rooting for BJ.

6:38: After 3 rounds BJ is in total control, and Florian's face looks like a bunch of lumps.

6:39: Ocean: "He's not gonna be able to take a picture tomorrow." Me: "Or the day after."

6:40: BJ locks in a rear naked choke. Goodnight.


Final Thoughts: Joe and I have been betting on sports since as long as we've known each other, and this was the first time I've ever won. Seriously, Joe owns me. Couple of last words from the boys.

Joe: "Gayest card I've ever ordered. FML. I went 0-for-6 on all the fights they showed. LOL. Worst ever." Apparently, Joe IS human.

(I got this text from Ocean after he had left.) Ocean: "Was sitting across from some tool-bag that looked like "Ken-Flo." Couldn't help but wonder if he too, is a bitch."

Odds are, he is.


Friday, August 14, 2009

Old-School Hip-Hop Video of the Week

Wut's good folks!? We have a classic throwback for yall from the one and only Knowledge Reigns Supreme (KRS 1) called "9mm". Unfortunately, there is no video so...well, just deal with it! Ahaha, hope yall enjoy.

$0.10 & $0.05

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Sunday Night Slow Jamz: R.I.P. Baatin

Cyle and I are both big fans of Slum Village. Sadly, one of the members Baatin died over the weekend. The cause of death is unknown. For our slow jam, here's SV with "Climax." Check out a cameo by the immortal Gary Coleman in the beginning of the video.

P.S. Fellas, if you're ever hanging out with a girl and you're trying to close, play this me...