AD&AM Go to the Movies: He Got Game

Movie: He Got Game

Starring: Ray Allen (yes, the basketball player), Denzel Washington, Rosario Dawson (young version, but still FINE), Jim Brown (yes, the football player) "Radio" from "Do the Right Thing," Milla Jovovich

Plot: Jesus Shuttlesworth (Allen) is the top high school basketball player in the country, but with the deadline to sign with a college less than a week away, Jesus has yet to choose one. Meanwhile, everyone, his family, coach, friend, and girlfriend, has an opinion of what he should do. If that wasn't enough, Jesus's dad, Jake (Washington), who is in prison for the accidental murder of his wife (Jesus's mom) is temporarily released from jail on a "work-release" program. Turns out, the governor happens to be a big college basketball fan and wants Jesus to attend his alma mater, the fictional Big State University. Jake has a week to persuade his son to attend Big State, if he does, he will reduce Jake's sentence substantially.

Reaction: I saw this movie in the theater when it first came out, but watching it some 10 years later, gives me a different perspective on it. The movie deals with three main themes, basketball, celebrity, and the relationship between a father and son. Though the movie revolves around basketball, there's not a lot of it in the movie, save for a pickup game, and the climactic scene between Jake and Jesus. Every kid dreams of one day making it big in sports, and Jesus is on the verge, but that glamooruous life doesn't look as appealing. Everybody wants something from Jesus, even if it's just to rub elbows with him, and it's hard for Jesus to weed out who's really there for him, and who just wants things from him. Denzel is terrific as Jake, but it was hard for me to get past the fact that it was Ray Allen the basketball player, acting, even though the basketball scenes are that much better because he's an actual professional basketball player. The subplot of Jake courting a prostitue (Jovovich) is also unnecessary.

Rating: Though the move can drag at times, the climactic basketball game scene with Jake ands Jesus, as well as Jesus's recruting visit with friends Jill and Chasey make this movie worht it alone. good times. Weird subplot and Ray Allen dock it though. "He Got Game" gets 3 quarters and a nickel, for 80 cents.

Time to Write Down the Unwritten Rules of Pick-up Basketball

I love Hawaii. I really do. This place is amazing, there's nothing in the world like it. But there's two things about Hawaii that I can't stand: 1.) The lack of quality Mexican food, and 2.) People don't know how to conduct themselves on the basketball court.

I've been playing pick-up basketball a long time and I've watched it for even longer. My Dad would play every Saturday morning at Walter Haas Park in Diamond Heights and he'd take me with him when I was 4. I literally grew up watching, and playing it. There's something beautiful about pick-up ball. 10 strangers just competing, no shoe deals, no commercials, no instant replay, no thousands of people in attendance, just playing for the love of the game. You can tell a lot about a person by how they conduct themselves on the court, how they react to a call, how they treat their teammates and opponents, and how they react after a win or a loss.

But for whatever reason, players in Hawaii aren't as refined to the game as on the Mainland, and the one that are, aren't from here. There's a certain etiquette to streetball, unwritten rules that palyers have to follow, and I'm going to write them down.

1.) Full court games gotta have 10 people, 5-on-5. Anything less goes half-court.

2.) All games go to 15 by 1s and 2s. If there is more than one team, 5 people waiting, games go to 11. The point is to get as many games in as a possible.

3.) You gotta win by 2.

4.) Winning team gets to stay on the court. Always.

5.) Find 4 other people, and call "Next." Loud. Really loud. So that everyone at the park can hear you. You can't call Next until you have a whole team.

6.) If there are less than 5 people waiting, losing team shoots free throws to determine who gets to fill in for the Next team. Everyone gets to shoot at least once.

7.) Score is always announced after every basket and before every inbound.

8.) Last game of the night always goes to 21.

9.) (There's always a debate of who should call fouls, offense or defense. I don't really think it matters, but this will help clarify it.) Only the person committing the foul, or the person getting fouled can call the foul. If you're standing at the 3-point line or running up court when someone hets hacked in the key, don't say anything.

10.) No ticky-tack calls. If it's game point, and someone calls 3-in-the-key, when it hasn't been called all game long, it's ok to call that person names that are also women's genitalia and say thigns about their mother.

11.) Expect contact. People here take contact too personally. It's a physical game. You have 10 people on a court, jostling for position, battling for rebounds, and swatitng at the ball. Every now and again there's going to be some contact that might be a little harder than expected, take them accordingly and don't be an idiot and start an altercation.

Now print this out and send it to every park and court on the Island.

Anthony

I Saw This Movie The 1st Time When It Was Called "Disturbia"

Anthony

Presenting...Ceyonce Knows and the NBA Draft

So, we were thinking, is it fair that we have our own piece of cyber space for the world to hear our thoughts? Well, yea, actually it is. But like Uncle Ben told Peter, "With great power, comes great responsibility." So we're giving our friends guest spots where they get to speak their mind and talk about whatever they want, using our site as a forum. Cuz that's what we do here at A Dime & A Nickel, people helping people.

Our first guest blogger is "Ceyonce Knows." Ceyonce happens to be the "cousin" (the way colored people use the word "cousin," not like actual blood-related cousin) of Jrue Holiday. Jrue played basketball at UCLA and after his Freshman year, declared for the NBA Draft. Ceyonce was part of Jrue's entourage and accomapnied him to New York for the NBA draft. As an aspiring sports journalist I've always wondered what happened at these things, luckily, Ceyonce was there to tell us what transpired.

"We arrived in New York around 10pm and were picked up in a black SUV and headed to the Westin in Times Square. As we pull up to the hotel, the driver says, "Oh wow, there's still fanfare." By this time, it's about midnight. And then it hit me, we were staying in the same hotel as all the draftees! (AD&AN: Ceyonce is a HUGE fan of tall men, athletic men, and Black men, and when you put her in a confined area with tall, athletic, Black men, well, let's just say she probably needed a new pair of underwear.) Now, this was bad and wonderful at the same time. It was bad, because well...I already have a huge ego. I think I'm a princess, and although I have no fame-worthy talents, I feel like I belong with the stars, because I am one. So naturally walking in and out of the hotel surrounded by fanfare made me feel like a bigger deal than I already thought I was. But the wonderful part was that i was like a kid in the candy store! I mean, anyone who knows me knows what my weaknesses are: food, music, and most of all tall, dark, handsome, athletic men (AD&AN: Told you.); all of which were in abundance around me.

Ok...so enough about me. It was all about Jrue, well at least for the 20ish of us that flew to New York to support him. Thursday morning (the morning of the draft) there was a bruncheon for all the draftees and families, however there was a limit as to how many family members could go, so all the cousins under the age of 40 got cut. I wasnt bitter at all, who wants to sit at a boring brunch anyway. (*insert sarcasm HERE*)
As it got closer to the actual draft we were all getting anxious! Jrue, his parents, older brother, and agent left early. At about 6, the rest of us left. When we got to Madison Square Garden, it was CRAZY!! What we didnt realize before was that yes we had tickets, but it was open seating. There were certain areas reserved for families, but other than that, seating was a free. Lucky for us, we have young, talented athletes in the family that were more than glad to SPRINT as soon as they opened the doors to get good seats. We sat in the second row! Obviously as the clock counted down till 7:00pm, the anticipation continued to grow. Then finally, NBA Commissioner David Stern walks out. HERE WE GO! Well we already knew who the first 3 picks were going to be, so those were a breeze. Jrue was projected to go anywhere between 4 and 10, so this is where we all start to get antsy. Alright, so 4th pick...Tyreke Evans...alright. The Warriors liked him so he should be 7...nope, Stephen Curry. Ok ok, everyone in New York was talking about Jrue Holiday, so let go he's next. Wrong again, Jordan Hill. Alright, alright the Raptors LOVED Jrue, he's going to Canada...Demar DeRozan. Oh by the way, there is a 5 minute interval between each pick soo by this point the draft has been going on for almost an hour, ADD started to kick in about 20 minutes into the draft AD&AN: I'm not sure if Ceyonce has ever been diagnosed with ADD, but it's kinda of one of those things where it's pretty much obvious). Hunger started to kick in an hour into it (AD&AN: Should've gone to theat bruncheon). So by the time we get to the 15th pick, I have to pee, I'm anxious, I'm hungry, and to top it all off my cousin has not been picked yet!! Then FINALLY it happened he was picked! The rest of the draft is a blur. To be honest, I checked out after Jrue got picked, all I could focus on was food (AD&AN: And young, athletic, soon to be very rich men)! The funny part was when we got back from dinner at about 1am, there was still fanfare outside the hotel. And as we got out of the taxi with Jrue, they were all yelling "Jrue! Jrue!", asking for autographs, some had pictures of him. Its strange to think of Jrue as "famous" but, he definitely is in Philly. They love him out there. And Jrue is happy to be there. While all of us were getting impatient and anxious as the draft went on, Jrue wasn't. He said the whole time he was fine, because he knew he would end up where he was supposed to be.
"With the 17th pick in the 2009 NBA draft, the Philadelphia 76ers select Jrue Holiday from UCLA." That was it, that one sentence that lasted no more than 10 seconds was what we had all waited for. It was what we spent our money to come to New York for. And in the end, it was well worth it. I am so proud of him and what he has accomplished at the tender age of 19. And to top it all off anyone who knows or has met Jrue knows what a good kid he is. It's funny, my Mom told me, "Just think, there's gonna be girls that think of Jrue the way you think of Dwight Howard." Now thats just gross!"

Anthony

UFC 101

Yes, UFC 101 was more than 3 weeks ago, and yes, UFC 102 happened already, but I made a running diary of the night's events and present it now to you. The card featured Hawaii's very own, BJ Penn defending his Lightweight Championship against Kenny Florian. Here it is, all times are guessimated and are Hawaii Standard Time.

4:00pm: I'm coming live to you from the KHON2 news studio in Honolulu, HI in a room of about 20 people, all rooting for Penn. (I actually met Penn at the studio, he came in to do an interview and it amazed me how short he is in person. It always amazes me when I see how short celebrities are. I saw one of the dudes from the Yin-Yang Twins I swore I could've stepped on him.) Joining me are Ocean, who's sitting next to me, and Sant and Joe who are at 1 Valdez Ave. back home in San Francisco.

4:04: I can text who I think is going to win the main event, Penn or Florian. There's no way Penn's losing this fight. I'd bet my left testicle on it. (I actually bet Joe $10 and a beer Penn wins.) And no way more than 40% of people think Florian's gonna win. I'd bet "Righty" on that one too. "Florian even looks scared in his picture." Ocean says, he's right. If I had anything in my bank account, I'd bet it all on Penn.

4:11: It's time for our first fight, and here's our ring announcer, Bruce Buffer! Michael Buffer's younger, half-brother. (The "Let's Get Ready to Rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmble" guy.) As if being a younger brother didn't suck enough, he has to follow in his older brother's footsteps, and predictably, he's nowhere near as good. Imagine if Oxygen or Noggin ried to get Miley Cyrus's little sister or something to do a show. Always seeing Bruce Buffer for the first time at a UFC event always makes me laugh. Good times…

4:12: Our first fight is Josh Neer taking on Kurt Pellegrino, 3 rounds in the Lightweight division. Pellegrino has bleached blonde hair and he's named after mineral water, no way he wins.

4:13: The fight starts and Pellegrino offers his hand to touch gloves. Neer doesn't respond. Yeah, Pellegrino's definitely not winning.

4:26: After the first two rounds, Neer's surprisingly getting his ass kicked. Now would be a good time to mention that one of Neer's sponsors is the "Condom Depot," Figures, because he's about as useful as a broken one right now. Neer's efforts definitely wouldn't ever make me want to buy a condom from there, ever. Bad move by Condom Depot. Would you want to buy a Big Mac if McDonald's sponsored FEMA right after Hurricane Katrina?

4:28: "I feel like Joe Rogan's wearing his hat backwards right now," Ocean says. Joe Rogan, yes, THAT Joe Rogan from "Fear Factor" is one of UFC's announcers, and he's surprisingly really good. He knows a lot about mixed martial arts and makes funny, random, off-color observations. He feels like one of the guys that would be sitting in your living room watching the fights with you. And in the end, isn't that what an announcer should be?

4:30: One of the best parts of living in Hawaii is the delicious and diverse cuisine. But for all the great food they have here on the Islands though, the Mexican food sucks. The best Mexican they have out here is Taco Bell. Ocean and I are trying a spicy tuna roll right now. I like tuna, and I like spicy things so I should like this, right? (Note: This train of thought does not always work. One time I went to this restaurant that made specialty pizzas, and I ordered one that had brie cheese and duck on it. I thought to myself, "Hey, I like brie, I like duck, and I like pizza, so I'll like brie duck pizza! It was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten.)

4:31: The spicy tuna roll is not that bad.

4:32: Neer gets dominated for 14 minutes, and fights well for the last minute of the fight. Pellegrino wins by unanimous decision.

4:35: There's actually 2 other Hawaiian fighters on the card and one of them is fighting now, Kendall "The Spider" Grove from Maui, who won the 3rd season of "The Ultimate Fighter." He's fighting Ricardo Almeida in the Middleweight division. He's coming out to T.I.'s "What You Know?" I always thought that you could tell a lot about a fighter by what song he comes out too. Not a bad choice by Grove.

4:39: They show celebrities in the audience and there's former UFC champion, Tito Ortiz. But I'm more interested with who's sitting next to him, his wife, the most famous porn star of all-time, Jenna Jameson. "Didn't she give birth to twins?" Ocean asks in a surprised tone. I don't know why everyone seems so surprised that Jenna Jameson had kids. Like that's the most shocking thing that's come out of her vagina.

4:40: Kendall Grove is 185 pounds, but he's also 6'6". He looks like a kickstand.

4:56: Grove gets dominated by Almeida, yet at the end of the fight he raises his arms in victory. I always hated this subplot about boxing/UFC. A fighter clearly loses but just because he goes the distance celebrates like he won the fight. As if the real prize was just to go the whole fight without getting knocked or not submitting. I'm going to try a version of this, next time I don't study and bomb a test I'm just going to hand it in and celebrate and then act outraged when I get it back and it has 'F' on it. Grove will be lucky just to win a round.

4:57: He doesn't. Almeida wins in a unanimous decision, 30-27 on all scorecards.

5:03: Another Ultimate Fighter winner, Amir Sadollah, from Season 7, is fighting next. He's coming out to some weird techno/Arab song. His opponent looks like the bearded dude from "Knocked Up." I feel like this is a good time to go to the bathroom.

5:04: And I don't even have time too because Sadollah got knocked out in 30 seconds. Apparently "The Ultimate Fighter" sucks.

5:05: Ocean thinks the referee stopped the fight too early, I disagree. Sadollah wasn't even defending himself. I don’t think you can ever fault a referee for ending a fight prematurely. It's for the fighter's own good. I've worked at summer camps for like 6 years and the camp directors always says the same thing, "safety is the most important thing, you can never be too safe." That's how I feel like the referees feel. Better to stop a fight too early than too late.

5:10: Time for the second local boy's fight, "Sugar" Shane Nelson taking on Aaron Riley. (Is it that hard to come up with a nickname for fighters? There already is a "Sugar" Shane Moseley in boxing, not to mention the two former "Sugar Ray's," Robinson and Leonard. And then there's "Sugar "Rashad Evans, who also fights in UFC. We'll get to this more later.)

5:30: After clearly losing the first two rounds, Nelson's corner blatantly lies to him and tells him that he's still in the fight. (Another one of my favorite boxing/UFC subplots.) Nelson needs a miracle to win this one.

5:31: There's a fight in the stands that's evoking a bigger reaction from the fans than the fight. Even the announcers are commenting on the fight outside the Octagon. (Yet another one of my favorite boxing/UFC subplots.)

5:34: Fight's over. "I will burn my headset and run naked through the crowd," Joe Rogan says if Nelson wins. He doesn't and we're spared the sight of Joe Rogan's penis. They should've made that a segment on "Fear Factor."

5:35: Time for the co-main event, Middleweight champion, Anderson Silva moving up a weight class to take on former Light Heavyweight champion, and original "Ultimate Fighter" winner, Forrest Griffin, in the Light Heavyweight division. Griffin is Sant and Ocean's favorite fighter. I'm honestly more excited for this one than I am for Penn-Florian.

5:36: The UFC shows a montage to pump us up for the upcoming bout. Griffin looks ready and focused. So much so, I advised Niggy to put money on it, he bet $5 to win $11.25. I wonder if he'll split any of the winnings with me?

5:37: For some weird reason, the UFC bleeps out the cuss words in the package. We're paying $60 for this fight, Joe Rogan's talking about running naked, bare-chested men are beating each other with their fists and legs, and I can't hear someone say "shit?" Really?

5:38: Silva, from Brazil, doesn't speak English and needs a translator for the package. Silva's arguably one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the world, but he doesn't have the time to learn English? All his fights are in America? I don't like Silva. At all.

5:39: Griffin comes out to the theme song from "The Departed." That's it, I'm convinced, I'm out and out rooting for Griffin to whoop Silva's ugly, Portuguese-speaking candy-ass.

5:43: Silva, to the shock of Ocean and I, comes out to "Ain't No Sunshine" by DMX. HE DOESN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!! I don't like DMX, and I hate oldies that get sampled, I want Griffin to break Silva's arm. I will not be satisfied with anything less.

5:48: Fight starts. Philadelphia loves Griffin and starts a "Let's go Forrest (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)" chant. My man-crush on Forrest is growing.

5:49: Silva rocks Forrest.

5:50: See above. And after a big right, Forrest shakes his head as if he realizes it's not going to be his night. This is not going to end well.

5:51: Silva's toying with Forrest. Hands down, easily avoiding Forrest's strikes. It's like he's playing the UFC video game on "easy," only it's real-life. This is a mismatch, this is an execution. This is bad.

5:52: SILVA KNOCKS OUT FORREST WITH A JAB HE DIDN'T STEP INTO WHILE MOVING BACKWARDS!!! THAT WAS AMAZING! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! THAT WAS A CLINIC! I CAN'T STOP USING CAPITALS! THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLY IMPRESSIVE! Anderson Silva just made the former Light Heavyweight champion look like a 5 year-old. Ocean's so upset he walks out of the room. Forget Shaft, Anderson Silva is a bad… "SHUT YO' MOUTH!!!

5:53: From Sant: "Woooow." Yes, with 4 o's.

5:55: Silva uses broken English to get through his post-fight interview. Not only that, he has a high-pitched voice. You can't trust grown men with high-pitched voices. For the 2nd question he speaks Portuguese, which sounds like an aggressive, violent, uglier version of Spanish. Ew.

5:56: From Sant again: "Just tooo raw man. Wow man."

5:58: From Joe: "Speechless."

5:59: I text the results to Niggy. His response, "It's cool. I'll add it to your tab." Whack.

6:00: Leonidas does an interview to promote his new movie, "Gamer." (I don't care if Gerard Butler ends up marrying one of my sisters and becomes the father to my future nieces and nephews, I will forever refer to him as "Leonidas." Kind of like how I call Christian Bale, "Batman," and how I call Hugh Jackman, "Wolverine." This unfortunately made one of my friends mad when I told them there was a movie with Batman and Wolverine, "The Prestige," which is an amazing movie by the way, and then he realized I was talking about Bale and Jackman and not the characters. Oh well. And one least note to end this tangent, Gerard Butler played one of the best movie characters of all time, a real man's man, heterosexual man develop man-crushes on him, and then he starts doing chick-flicks and romantic comedies? What a douche! This is like when Shannon Elizabeth stopped showing her breasts anymore after that's what made her famous in "American Pie." Anyone heard from her since?)

6:05: 70% of the people who voted said Penn will win. That's 30% that voted for Florian for all you people that missed Math that day. I'll end the night with at least one of my balls. And in the end, isn't that really all you need?

6:09: I'm in a pro-Penn room, and am obviously going for the local boy (I even shook his hand once), but Kenny Florian is coming out to the Octagon to "The Champ" by Ghostface Killah. I'm singing the words to the Wu-Tang and UFC. I think I might want to root for Florian.

6:11: BJ comes out to a bad-ass Hawaiian chant and "E Ala E" by Braddah Iz. I tell Ocean I'm jumping ship, he dresses me down like a new recruit. Ah well.

6:14: I just found out that Florian is 33, 4 years older than BJ. And his nickname is "Ken-Flo." Yeah, I'm definitely rooting for BJ.

6:38: After 3 rounds BJ is in total control, and Florian's face looks like a bunch of lumps.

6:39: Ocean: "He's not gonna be able to take a picture tomorrow." Me: "Or the day after."

6:40: BJ locks in a rear naked choke. Goodnight.

6:43: Bruce Buffer: "AND STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL, U-F-C, LIGHTWEIGHT, CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD…" Well, you know the rest.

Final Thoughts: Joe and I have been betting on sports since as long as we've known each other, and this was the first time I've ever won. Seriously, Joe owns me. Couple of last words from the boys.

Joe: "Gayest card I've ever ordered. FML. I went 0-for-6 on all the fights they showed. LOL. Worst ever." Apparently, Joe IS human.

(I got this text from Ocean after he had left.) Ocean: "Was sitting across from some tool-bag that looked like "Ken-Flo." Couldn't help but wonder if he too, is a bitch."

Odds are, he is.

Anthony

Old-School Hip-Hop Video of the Week

Wut's good folks!? We have a classic throwback for yall from the one and only Knowledge Reigns Supreme (KRS 1) called "9mm". Unfortunately, there is no video so...well, just deal with it! Ahaha, hope yall enjoy.

$0.10 & $0.05

Sunday Night Slow Jamz: R.I.P. Baatin

Cyle and I are both big fans of Slum Village. Sadly, one of the members Baatin died over the weekend. The cause of death is unknown. For our slow jam, here's SV with "Climax." Check out a cameo by the immortal Gary Coleman in the beginning of the video.



P.S. Fellas, if you're ever hanging out with a girl and you're trying to close, play this song...trust me...

$0.15

There's Very Few People I Hate, One of Them Is Brett Favre

Since as far back as I can remember, I’ve been a sports fan. A diehard one.

I remember being 3 years old and being sad when Hulk Hogan lost the title to The Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania VI. I remember my first Giants game, against the Dodgers, sitting in the upper deck at Candlestick on someone’s lap (my Dad’s I think).

Then I got older and sports consumed me. Or I consumed sports. Either way, it was everything I did in my free time. I’d read the Chronicle’s Sporting Green at breakfast in the 1st grade, I was a 49er for Halloween one year and I kept the costume, helmet and all, and would throw the football around in my living room with the little white table that seperated the pizza from the box as a kicking tee and the tops from the Sqeez-It bottle as a mouthpiece.

When the Giants won the pennant in 2002 I did a victory lap around my house. When they lost the World Series in Game 7 a few weeks later, I cried.

And like most sports fans I had one arch-enemmy. The ulimate villain, the man that would reach into my chest and rip out my beating heart with his bare hands. And then hit me in the nuts with a sledgehammer.

Brett f*****’ Favre.

In “The Usual Suspects” Verbal has a line where he says that he’s not scared of God, but he’s afraid of Keyser Soze. Brett Favre was my Keyser Soze. A real-life, Southern, rocket-armed, Boogeyman.

Remember when you were a kid and you would get in trouble, either at school or with your Grandma or something, and your parents hadn’t found out yet but you knew when they did you were gonna get it? That’s what it felt like everytime the 49ers played the Packers. Except for 3 hours.

I remember my first encounter with Favre. It was the ’95 playoffs. The 49ers looked like they were gonna repeat as Super Bowl champs and the Cowboys were looming for a 4th straight time in the NFC Championship Game. All we had to do was beat the underdog Packers at home. Easy, right? We lost. That next year we played the Packers on Monday Night in Lambeau. The Packers won in OT. In the playoffs we had to play them, again in Lambeau. It was raining and muddy, we got blown out. The Packers went on to win the Super Bowl. In 1997 the 49ers had home-field throughout the playoffs and we faced the Packers in the NFC title game, the Packers blew us out and went to the Super Bowl.

In ’98 the Niners made the playoffs again, this time as a wild-card team. We were at home, against guess who? The damn Packers. It was a back and forth game. We had the lead late and Favre threw a TD pass that gave them a lead with little time left. But Steve Young somehow led us down the field and threw a TD pass with 3 seconds left to Terrell Owens. (Sidebar: Steve Young was great during the regular season, but there’s no way he’s one of the best QB’s of all-time. Any 49er fan that thinks so is a “homer.” Young was the consummate underachiever, how do you have a team that good and only win 1 Super Bowl? Young could pour it on when we were ahead, but very rarely did he ever lead us back from a deficit to victory. In big games he always underperformed, he just couldn’t win the big one. Favre owned Young. Favre was the hammer and Young was the nail, ‘nuff said. Back to the post.) We had finally slayed the dragon, I thought. Then my heart nearly stopped when the Packers took the kickoff to the 50 and almost broke it for the game-winning TD that would have led me to swan dive off the roof of my house. It was over. I had exorcised the Favre demon.

But just like herpes, that God-forsaken #4 came back.

In 2001 after two crappy seasons, the 49ers were back in the playoffs but we had to play the Packers again in Green Bay. We lost. Again. The Boogeyman had returned. 4 times, 4 $@#%@#%$@#^@# times the 49ers lost to Favre’s Packers in the playoffs. That man ruined my childhood.

I could care less about Favre towards the twilight of his career because the Packers and 49ers weren’t very good and there was no chance for him to scar me emotionally anymore. Then came the retirements and comebacks. Who did Favre think he was, Jay-Z? It’s one thing to drop the mic and then pick it up again, it’s another thing to stand in the pocket against an oncoming rush of 300-pound linemen. Favre proved with his comeback that he was who I thought he was the whole time, a giant douche. Who strings along 3 franchises, the Packers, then the Jets, and now the Vikings with the “Will he or won’t he?” routine? Especially when you’re in your late-30s, and at the end of your career. In the ultimate team game, Favre was making himself out to be holier than thou and he really wasn’t. He was in the news more than the President. People were tireed of hearing about him, and odds are that he never knocked out their favorite team 4 times in the palyoffs. Sure Favre won a Super Bowl, but he also lost one when his Packers were the clear-cut favorite against the Broncos. Favre’s the all-time leader in TD passes, but he’s also the all-time leader in interceptions. The media calls Favre a “gunslinger,” but that also implies that he was reckless and cost his teams games with bad decisions, bad passes, and interceptions. He just always happened to beat the 49ers.

Favre finally retired, and I couldn’t be happier. I hope that it’s for good. I hated everything about Brett Favre. His stupid cowlick, the idiotic way his last name is pronounced, how does F-A-V-R-E sound like "farv," his dumb Southern drawl, the way he wore his hand-warmers like a fanny-pack, the Lambeau Leap, how he would celebrtate his TD passes by just sprinting with his right index finger in the air or by picking up his teammates over his shoulder. My favorite part of “There’s Something About Mary” wasn’t when Ben Stiller got his genitalia caught in his zipper, or when Cameron Diaz put the “gel” in her hair, it was when Mary left Favre for Ben Stiller at the end. (Sidebar: The Farrelly Brothers are actually HUGE 49er fans and wanted to get Steve Young to play that role, but Young, who’s a Mormon, declined because of the adult content of the movie. Even in cinema, Favre beats Young. And while we’re on a tangent, “There’s Something About Mary” is STILL an unbelievably funny movie. That movie launched Ben Stiller’s career, Cameron Diaz nails the role as the girl-next-door/tomboy hottie, Matt Dillon’s mustache is classic, and it taught guys everywhere to be careful when they zip up their pants after they pee. The Farrelly Bros. will never top “Dumb & Dumber,” but “There’s Something About Mary” comes close.)

Over time kids grow up and realize there’s no monster under their bed or in their closet, my monster was there the whole time. He just finally decided, after tormenting me for years, that it was time to leave my room. Who knew that the Boogeyman wore #4 and was from Mississippi?

Good riddance Brett, I don’t think I’ll ever hate another athlete as much as you, not even The Ultimate Warrior.

This S***'s Pretty Funny...

We wouldn't steer you wrong. Check out this video of the top 60 ghetto black names...



10's & 5's

AD&AN Pick the Finals

I hate the Lakers. I really, really, hate the Lakers. I hate Kobe, I pretty much hate most of LA. Regardless, I gotta call a spade and spade, Kobe's the best player and the Lakers are clearly the better team, and are rightfully favored to win the NBA Finals. But does that mean I'll think they'll win...

(Dammit...)

(Banging my head against desk....)

Yes.

The NBA is just about match-ups as much as it is about talent and size. The Cleveland Cavaliers had LeBron, the NBA's best record, and home-court advantage...but they didn't match-up well with Orlando. That's why Orlando won the series. Two years ago, my Warriors were the #8 seed in the playoffs taking on top-seeded Dallas. The Warriors finished 25 games behind the Mavericks in the regular season, but won the series in 6 games.

With that being said, the Lakers match-up well with the Magic. Their bench is a little deeper, Mickael Pietrus shouldn't be able to defend Kobe well (actually, no one can), and as good as Hedo Turkoglu is on offense for Orlando, he's just as bad defensively.

If Dwight Howard plays as well as he did in the Eastern Finals, the Magic have a good shot. The Magic were able to shoot the lights out as well in the Cavs series, only because Mike Brown stupidly decided to double Howard and let the shooters shoot. I think Phil Jackson is a little smarter than to do that, and it's difficult for a team to stay hot from the outside. The Magic have the edge at point guard as well, it doesn't matter if Jameer Nelson plays or not, Rafer Alston can abuse the Derek Fisher/Jordan Farmar combo like a drunken prom date. That said though, the Lakers may play Shannon Brown a lot.

I'm pulling for the Magic, I like Dwight Howard and Pietrus is a former Warrior, but something tells me it's the Lakers year. They came so close last year, they're got the Finals experience, the Magic kinda seem like they're just happy to be there.

The Pick: Kobe cements his legacy as one of the best ever. Lakers in 6. I will now light myself on fire.

Anthony

Sunday Night...

Hey Gang,

Here's another slow jam for y'all to enjoy. Here's Raphael Saddiq, coming out the bay Area and Lucy Pearl with "Dance Tonight."

Enjoy



AD&AN

SNSJ: "I'd Die Without You" by PM Dawn

Wuts good folks!? We here at Management would like to apologize for the lack of posts lately, we have some new updates that we'll post up soon. As you may know, it is yet another Sunday and we have a treat for all yall who appreciate slow jams. This song is called "I'd Die Without You" by PM Dawn from the Boomerang soundtrack. Definitely a lay back n chill track...Hope yall enjoy!

Clyde Tha Glyde

AD&AN Go to the Movies: Slumdog Millionaire

Movie: Slumdog Millionaire

Starring: A bunch of Indian people

Plot: The story is told in real-time and in flashback. In real-time, Jamal Malik, form the slums of Mumbai, India, is a contestant on the Indian version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" The flashbacks show how Jamal knows the answers to the questions asked on the show, through the experiences of his eventful, yet troubled childhood with his older brother, Salim, and a childhood friend, Latika.

Reaciton: Just an amzaing movie. An incredible story that the viewer gets sucked into and emotionally invested in. Even though there are flashbacks it's easy to keep up with the movie. Some of the scenes with the kids and the ghetto are hard to stomach, and some of the movie's dialogue is in Hindu, so it's a pain with the subtitles, but other than that it was an incredible movie. Worthy of every award it won.

Rating: 3 quarters and 2 dimes, "Slumdog Millionaire" gets 95 cents.

The 15-cent crew...

Things That Sound Like A Porno

Wuts good folks!? I think this is pretty self-explanatory...this one can go a couple of ways...no pun intended...

Management

"This is dedicated to lover (to the lover), in you (in you...in you)"

So apparently we're on a Sleepy Brown tip for our Sunday Night Slow Jamz. This one isn't that old, but it's a good one. Here's Sleepy Brown and Outkast with "I Can't Wait."

As always, enjoy...



AD&AN

Old-School Hip-Hop Video of the Week- Eddie Murphy Edition

Wuts goooood folks!? For all you college kids out there, it's almost the end of the semester and we all know that's coded language for your professors to give u as much work that is inhumanly possible to complete in a week...i feel ur pain folks! ahaha, so, we here at ADAN figured you all needed a break and what better way to do that than comedic relief! We got an all-time classic,(well...kinda lol) from Eddie Murphy called "Party All The Time". Look for the part in the video when Eddie pops a blood vessel in his head, trying to hit that high note. It was also produced by the "Superfreak" himself, Rick James (RIP)...so, in the words of Rick James being played by Dave Chappelle..."ENJOY YOURSELF!" ahaha.

Cyle

This Is A Bad Idea...

An amputee is going to fignt in an MMA event this weekend. No, seriously. And it's not even like he has some limbs. Kyle Maynard has no arms and no legs. Remeber in "40Year-Old Virgin" when the boys find out that Steve Carrell hasn't had sex and he doesn't sleep all night and when his alarm goes off in the morning he says, "This is going to be bad." That's how I feel right now. Here's the link.

http://sports.yahoo.com/mma/news?slug=mmajunkie-Maynard_road_to_MMA_debut&prov=mmajunkie&type=lgns

Management

They Said it, Not Us: Thug 101

Two of my best buddies out here in Hawaii go by the aliases of Brown Nino and Niggy. Niggy is your average, everyday white guy who played Magic in high school, and spends most of his days playing Gears of War and poker online. Brown Nino, well, remember those toys the "Lil' Homies?" Well, Brown Nino is a real-life Lil' Homie. Thnking he's hard, and listening to his gangsta rap, only he has a high-paying job that makes him wear a ridiculous aloha shirt and he's graduating in five years because he's double majoring. But he still thinks he's a thug.

So, I was over at Brown Nino and Niggy's house the other day, (yes, these polar oppostite people live together, I'm surprised Niggy isn't dead and Brown Nino isn't in jail) and me and Niggy were on the XBox 360 and Brown Nino was cupcaking on the phone. Now, what kind of a friend would I be if I didn't talk $#!t to one of my boys while he's spitting game to a girl, right? So me and Niggy are getting on Brown Nino, when him and Niggy have this exchange.

Brown Nino: "I'm a thug! Thugs don't love!"
Niggy: "Oh, do thugs double major in college?"

Once again...

THEY SIAD IT, NOT US...

Anthony

Slang Word of the Day: Do You Drive a "Hoopty?"

Now, I don't mean to clown (Well, kinda). There's a bunch of cats out there that ain't got cars, or even licenses, but if you do have a ride, it HAS to be presentable. Guy likes girl, girl likes object. Guy uses objects to get girl. It's that simple. To quote Dave Chappelle, "If a man could f*** a girl in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house." A presentable car is a must if you're gonna pull broads, fellas. It's the way of the world. If you're riding around in a "hoopty," you might as well be driving your Nikes or waiting on the bus stop.

That leads us to today's word, "hoopty." A hoopty is a noun, and is a beaten-up, raggedy-looing, "ghetto" car. If you don't know what one is, well, let's just hope you're not driving one. Need help figuring it out? It's a good thing we're here...

*If you only have rims on one side of your car...you're driving a hoopty.
*If your car can't reverse, and you have to physically push it to get it out of a parking stall...you're driving a hoopty.
*If you live in Hawaii and your A/C doesn't work...you're driving a hoopty.
*If the driver door lock doesn't work, and you get in your car buy unlocking the shotgun door and then reaching over and unlocking the driver-side door...you're driving a hoopty.
*If your windshield wipers don't work...you're driving a hoopty.
*If when you roll your window up and it goes down, and when you roll it down, it goes up...you're driving a hoopty.

Consider yourselves informed, and remember, no matter what piece of s*** car you drive, to always buckle-up!

$0.15

SNSJ: "Sunday Morning"

Wuts good folks?! It's ya boy Peter Darker aka Donnie Darko from 10's & 5's. It is once again another beautiful sunday night and my oh my do we have a video for all yall couples out there who just enjoy being lazy on a sunday morning...hence the name of the video, "Sunday Morning" by Dungeon Family's own Sleepy Brown. Hope yall enjoy.

Management

AD&AN Do the Humpty-Hump

Friday means the end of the work week, the beginning of the weekend, and here at AD&AN, a time to hit y'all with another classic. This is for all the homies with the big noses, here's Digital Underground with "The Humpty Dance."

AD&AN Go to the Movies: I Love You, Man

Movie: I Love You, Man

Starring: Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, "Karen Fillipelli" from "The Office," Andy Samberg, "Jameson" from "Spider-Man," Jon Favreau, Lou Ferrigno, "Dangle" from "Reno: 911," "Jamie Pressly

Plot: Peter (Rudd) and Zooey (Karen) are engaged to be married. Peter overhears Zooey and her multitude of friends talking one night about how his lack of friends will make for one bad bridal party, and how he'll be a clingy husband. In an effort to prove Zooey and her friends wrong, Peter is set-up on a series of "man dates" to find friends.

Reaction: It's a really, REALLY good premise. A reverse love story, a guy searching for love...from another man. A guy just trying to find platonic love from another man, "homey-hunting." Although there are a handful of laugh at loud moments, something seems to be missing from the movie. Lou Ferrigno playing himself is a nice touch, and the rest of the supporting cast does a good job as well, but the premise isn't as well executed as it could've been. The dialogue is still good, as is expected from these movies, and there are great quotes, as evidenced by a few of the "Slappin' da bass, maan" on people's Facebook statuses. The movie's funny, but not as funny as previous movies that these guys have been in like "Knocked Up," "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," and "Role Models."

Rating: This movie gets 2 quarters and 2 dimes. $0.70

They Said It, Not Us- Family Feud

Wuts good folks!? Peter Darker here. Earlier today I was watching Family Feud, not only because it's entertaining to watch but also because of the dumbest answers some of these people blare out and today’s episode was nothing short of my expectations. So both families had one person from each side go to the front for a head to head. Now, if you've never seen the show (which should not be the case unless you're from Calcutta) each person has a chance to participate in the head to head. The main goal is to hit the buzzer before the other person and answer with one of the top surveyed answers for a question. So, two people from both families come up to the buzzer, one being the genius that inspired this. The host asked the question, "What might excite a dog?" and before you could blink, this dude hits the buzzer with a quickness...he abruptly answers,"...COLORS!!"...yes folks, colors...think about it lol…and if you’re too slow/lazy to think about it, dogs are colorblind. Once again, this is Peter Darker, informing you that if you say something dumb, 10 & 5 will put you on blast!

Management

Yup, We Got A New Recurring Segment...

...or is it "reoccurring?" I take a lot of pride in being more intelligent than the average person so I'm pretty sure it's "recurring." And if it's not, I still hold to that first statement.

Anywho, I was at Safeway yesterday in the chip aisle, when I meandered over to the Doritos section (Doritos is off-top the greatest chip known to man, and to steal a line from Ron Burgandy, "if you disagree, I will punch you in the face." Well, not really. But I'll want to.). Apparently, the geniuses at Frito-Lay decided they wanted to add a "Late Night" flavor for their chips. I suppose while I'm holding someone's ankles during a keg stand or trying to pick-up a drunk girl outside of Waikiki Trade Center, I'm supposed to be craving Doritos.

One of the new flavors is called, "Tacos at Midnight." When I saw this, one glaring thing was going through my mind, "That sounds like the name of a gay porno."

So, from the people that brought you the "Slang Word of the Day" and "They Said It, Not Us," A Dime & A Nickel now presents..."Things That Sound Like a Porno."

Our first, "Tacos at Midnight."

SNSJ: Jodeci

Why hello there all you late-night lovers. It's that time again, Sunday night, the mood is right. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww yeeeeeeeeeeeea. We're gonna break you off with another classic. Fellas, if you got a girly over and you're trying to set the right mood, three words, Joe. Duh. See. They play this song in the club and the girls go nuts. Let's get to the video.



Management

A Dime & A Nickel Go to the Movies

Here @ AD&AN we're starting a new segment where we review movies, new, old, theater, DVD, whatever, that we've seen. We're calling it, "A Dime & A Nickel Go to the Movies."

Movie: "Rounders."

Starring: Matt Damon, Edward Norton, John Malkovich, John Tuturro, Martin Landau

Plot: Mike McD (Damon) is a law student who's in love with poker, until he loses all his money in one hand against Russian mob boss, Teddy KGB (Malkovich). Mike decides to quit cold turkey and gets hooked up at a day-job by his poker mentor, Knish (Turturro). But Mike gets the bug back when his childhood friend and fellow poker shark, Worm (Norton), gets out of jail. Though Mike is excited to be with his friend again, Worm does more harm than good, even when he doesn't intend to.

Reaction: "Rounders" seems a little ahead of it's time. It wasn't until high school when I noticed kids playing Texas Hold 'Em in the hall for push-ups, and the World Series of Poker on ESPN. The movie came out in 1998. Damon, Norton, Malkovich, Turturo, and Martin Landau (who plays Mike's teacher at law school) are all favorites of mine and do a great job acting (Plus, who doesn't want to see John Malkovich doing a Russian accent?). Norton isn't featured as much as he should, but Damon does a great job carrying the movie. I hesitate to call Poker a sport, but "Rounders" feels like a sports movie, and a good one at that.

Rating: "Rounders" gets 2 quarters and 3 dimes, a total of $0.80.

Old School Hip-Hop Video:"Fast Life"

Wuts good folks!? It's Friday and it's time for tha old school hip-hop video of tha week. If you have ever heard someone say that it's not possible to work out on a treadmill with Timberland boots on, this video should prove them wrong!(ahaha, you gotta watch tha video) We gotta classic for all yall real hip-hop fans out there called "Fast Life" by Kool G. Rap featuring Nas. Hope yall enjoy and have a good weekend everybody. Peace

PS- At the beginning of the video pay attention to the dialogue and you can tell that neither of them knew what they were gonna say! Look at Nas and you'll see him look up waiting for somebody to tell him what to do next! ahahaha, hillarious folks!

Monday Afternoon Slow-Jam

So if you play some Boyz II Men for a girl, odds are you're gonna get the panties moist. But if you mix that with some LL Cool J...well, take flight...



Management

My Bracket Picks

We'll keep this short and sweet.

Midwest:
1st Round Winners:
(1) Louisville, (8) Ohio St., (12) Arizona, (4) Wake Forest, (6) West Virginia, (3) Kansas, (10) USC, (2) Michigan St.

2nd Round Winners:
(1) Louisville, (4) Wake Forest, (3) Kansas, (2) Michigan St.

Sweet 16 Winners:
(1) Louisville, (2) Michigan St.

Elite 8 Winner:
(1) Louisville

West:
1st Round Winners:
(1) UConn (8) Texas A&M (5) Purdue, (4) Washington, (6) Marquette, (3) Missouri, (7) Cal, (2) Memphis

2nd Round Winners:
(1) UConn, (4) Washington, (6) Marquette, (2) Memphis

Sweet 16 Winners:
(1) UConn, (6) Marquette

Elite 8 Winner:
(1) UConn

East:
1st Round Winners:
(1) Pittsburgh, (9) Tennessee, (5) Florida State, (4) Xavier, (6) UCLA, (3) Villanova, (7) Texas, (2) Duke

2nd Round Winners:
(1) Pittsburgh, (5) Florida State, (6) UCLA, (2) Duke

Sweet 16 Winners:
(1) Pittsburgh, (2) Duke

Elite 8 Winner:
(2) Duke

South:
1st Round Winners:
(1) North Carolina, (8) Butler, (5) Illinois, (4) Gonzaga, (6) Arizona State (3) Syracuse, (10) Michigan, (2) Oklahoma

2nd Round Winners:
(1) North Carolina, (4) Gonzaga, (3) Syracuse, (2) Oklahoma

Sweet 16 Winners:
(1) North Carolina, (3) Syracuse

Elite 8 Winner:
(1) North Carolina

Final Four Winners:
Louisville over UConn, North Carolina over Duke

National Championship:
North Carolina over Louisville

Anthony

What Happens When Girls Pick Brackets?!?!!?

I've always wanted to know the rationale behind people's March Madness picks. Here at "A Dime & A Nickel," we have a homegirl named "Beaker" who is more of a fan of college basketball players than actual college basketball. What would happen if we made her choose a bracket and explain her choices? Read on...

Midwest Bracket:
1st Round
(1) louisville vs. (16) Morehead St.
Beaker's Pick: louisville. More head, that doesn't sound right.

(8) Ohio State vs. (9) Siena
BP: Ohio State. Green and gold?!!?! Those two colors shouldn't be together unless it's the Packers. (A Dime & A Nickel Note: Beaker's from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. This will come up again...)

(5) Utah vs. (12) Arizona
BP: Utah, 'cause I don't like Arizona. I don't like dry heat or McCain. I personally don't like ASU.

(4) Wake Forest vs. (13) Cleveland St.
BP: Wake, this guy on Facebook used to hit on me and he played football for Wake Forest. Cleveland? More Ohio, I don't like Ohio.

(6) West Virginia vs. (11) Dayton
BP: Dayton, since Chaminade's not in, Dayton is as close as I can get. (AD&AN Note: Dayton like Chaminade is a Marianist university and is our "sister school.")

(3) Kansas vs. (14) North Dakota St.
BP: I really don't like Kansas 'cause my crazy's aunt's from there. I'm just amazed that they can get #14. The fact that they can get 5 people together and play basketball from the state of North Dakota. I'll pick Kansas 'cause they're the defending national champs.

(7) Boston College vs. (10) USC
BP: Boston College. The Golden Eagles! That was my Mom's high school mascot! And USC, don't they have football? Isn't that enough?

(2) Michigan St. vs. (15) Robert Morris
BP: Michigan St. Robert Morris, it sounds like they're named after a person. That's dumb. (AD&AN note: It is.)

2nd Round
(1) louisille vs. (8) Ohio St.
BP: louisivlle. I don't like Ohio.

(4) Wake Forest vs. (5) Utah
BP: Wake Forest. Cuz of that guy. I can't remember what he looks like.

(3) Kansas vs. (11) Dayton
BP: That's enough Dayton. I don't even like the transfer students that much.

(2) Michigan St. vs. (7) Boston College
BP: BC. Cuz I like that song "Boston" by Augustana. I like to sing that in the car.

Sweet 16
(1) louisville vs. (4) Wake Forest
BP: louisville, I don't like that "Demon" thing (AD&AN note: Wake Forest's nickname is the "Demon Deacons), I'm going to go the other way.

(3) Kansas vs. (7) Boston College
BP: BC. (AD&AN: Again?!) Yup.

Elite 8
(1) louisville vs. (7) Boston College
BP: BC. I have to get rid of louisville. I feel bad about having them beat Wake Forest.

Midwest Champion: Boston College

West Region
1st Round
(1) UConn vs. (16) Tennessee-Chatanooga
BP: I didn't even know Chatanooga was in Tennessee. I'mma go with UConn.

(8) BYU vs. (9) Texas A&M
BP: Texas A&M. Because I feel like they were in a movie and they won. Wasn't it "Drumline?" (AD&AN Note: It was "Atlanta A&M" that was featured in "Drumline." Atlanta A&M is not a real school.)

(5) Purdue vs. (12) Northern Iowa
BP: Northern Iowa. They're named the "Panthers." And I don't like Purdue 'cause my old boss graduated from there.

(4) Washington vs. (13) Mississippi St.
BP: They do stuff beides play soccer in Washington? I'm going to go with Washington because they probably had to make it through the rain.

(6) Marquette vs. (11) Utah St.
BP: Wasn't Utah in it already? I'm going to go with Marquette cuz I'm from Milwaukee.

(3) Missouri vs. (14) Cornell
BP: Cornell's called the "Big Red?!" I'm going to go with the other team 'cause I don't wanna root for Clifford the dog or chewing gum.

(7) California vs. (10) Maryland
BP: Cal. I don't feel like turtles can win anything (AD&AN note: Maryland's nickname is the "Terrapins," a turtle). Plus I like bears.

(2) Memphis vs. (15) Cal State Northridge
BP: Memphis. Northridge was the name of a mall that closed down back home. So if the mall can't make it...?

2nd Round
(1) UConn vs. (9) Texas A&M
BP: UConn. I like their logo.

(4) Washington vs. (12) Northern Iowa
BP: Northern Iowa. That Starbucks coffee can only get you so far. Plus Iowa's Midwest.

(3) Missouri vs. (6) Marquette
BP: last time Marquette went really far we had Dwyane Wade. I think he's gone to the pros by now. Marquette, 'cause the Tigers were my high school rival's mascot. Riverside Tigers, I can't stand them.

(2) Memphis vs. (7) Cal
BP: Cal. 'Cause when I think of Memphis I think of Justin Timberlake. And he hasn't put out a CD in awhile...

Sweet 16
(1) UConn vs. (12) Northern Iowa
BP: UConn, cuz I can spell it. Can I? C-o-n-n...wait...(exhaling)...e-c-t-i-c-u-t-t? (AD&AN note: C-o-n-n-e-c-t-i-c-u-t. Connecticut.)

(6) Marquette vs. (7) Cal
BP: I don't like California in general. California. You know how they say "go big or go home?" I feel like Marquette's gonna go home here.

Elite 8
(1) UConn vs. (7) Cal
BP: UConn. East coast, I like it better. Better rappers too.

West Region Champion: UConn

East Region:
1st Round
(1) Pitt vs. East Tennessee St.
BP: Pitt. Why are there so many Tennesse schools? How many basketball players are there in Tennessee? It's a small state.

(8) Oklahoma St. vs. (9) Tennessee
BP: Oklahoma St. I'm going to go with whoever isn't Tennessee.

(5) Florida St. vs. (12) Wisconsin
BP: Florida St. That's an easy one, I'm not going to pick Wisconsin. All their players went to my rival high schools that we beat. They're a bunch of HS players who are losers.

(4) Xavier vs. (13) Portland St.
BP: I'm going to pick Xavier. It sounds black. And the guy from X-Men.

(6) UClA vs. (11) VCU
BP: UClA. Didn't the Fresh Prince and Carlton go there? (AD&AN note: Another fictitious school, "UlA")

(3) Villanova vs. (14) American U.
BP: Villanova. I'm not going to sound unpatriotic, but American University? That sounds dumb! What do they teach there, to eat fries and make grilled cheese sandwiches?

(7) Texas vs. (10) Minnesota
BP: Texas. I hate Minnesota because I'm from Wisconsin. Fuck Jesse Ventura.

(2) Duke vs. (15) Binghamton
BP: Binghamton. I like the "bearcat." (AD&AN: Binghamton's nickname is the "Bearcats.")

2nd Round
(1) Pitt vs. (8) Oklahoma St.
BP: Oklahoma St. I liked the musical.

(4) Xavier vs. (5) Florida State
BP: Florida State. They survived a hurricane, they can win a basketball game.

(3) Villanova vs. (6) UClA:
BP: Villanova. I just like to say it. It sounds cool, like a spaceship. I don't even know where it is. (AD&AN note: Philadelphia)

(7) Texas vs. (15) Binghamton
BP: Texas. I thought it was "Birmingham," not Binghamton. That's hard to say, "Bing-ham-ton." It's like the opposite of Villanova.

Sweet 16
(5) Florida St. vs. (8) Oklahoma St.
BP: FSU. Miami's in Florida. I like Miami, that's a place I want to go.

(3) Villanova vs. (7) Texas
BP: "Villanova vs. Texas." That sounds like a Disney movie. Spaceship or the cowboys? I'm going to go with...Texas.

Elite 8
(5) Florida St. vs. (7) Texas
BP: Texas, it's just standing out in my mind. It seems more serious than Florida. Florida just seems like jet skis and old-folks homes.

East Region Champion: Texas

South Region
1st Round
(1) North Carolina vs. (16) Radford
BP: North Carolina. Radford's a high school. It's a high school in Hawaii, it's a high school in Milwaukee. Why are they putting small children up against grown people?

(8) lSU vs. (9) Butler
BP: lSU. I've been to louisiana. New Orleans is in louisiana, right? I'll show them some love, unlike FEMA.

(5) Illinois vs. (12) Western Kentucky
BP: I hate Illinois. Western Kentucky? This ain't no horse race. I'll take Illinois, this isn't a derby, it's a tournament. Horses can only go one round.

(4) Gonzaga vs. (13) Akron
BP: Gonzaga. That's another fun word. It has a 'Z.'

(6) Arizona State vs. (11) Temple
BP: Arizona State even though I hate them. They're out next round.

(3) Syracuse vs. (14) Stephen F. Austin
BP: Syracuse. Stephen F. Austin? That sounds like an elementary school. Who the fuck is Stephen F. Austin? What did he do that was so important that he has a school named after him with sports? (AD&AN note: You know what...nevermind...)

(7) Clemson vs. (10) Michigan
BP: Michigan. I like blue and gold. They're my high school colors.

(2) Oklahoma vs. (15) Morgan St.
BP: Oklahoma. I wasn't feeling Morgan.

2nd Round
(1) North Carolina vs. (8) lSU
BP: lSU. I like Tigers better than Tar Heels. Sounds like car tires.

(4) Gonzaga vs. (5) Illinois
JP: Gonzaga! Why don't they pronounce the 's' in "Illinois?" Who leaves letters out of their own name?!

(3) Syracuse vs. (6) Arizona St.
BP: Bye Arizona St.! Pack it up and go back to your desert!!!!

(2) Oklahoma vs. (10) Michigan
BP: Michigan.

Sweet 16:
(4) Gonzaga vs. (8) lSU
BP: This is so hard. The further we go on, it's schools I like. I'm going to go with Gonzaga.

(3) Syracuse vs. (10) Michigan
BP: I feel like Syrcuse has to run out of steam eventually. Michigan seems kind of dirty. I think of that lake. Plus Syracuse has a good grad program. I'mma go with Syracuse and invest in my future.

Elite 8:
(3) Syracuse vs. (4) Gonzaga
BP: Gonzaga. They're going to win.

South Region Champion: Gonzaga

Final Four
UConn vs. Boston College
BP: UConn. I remember in HS watching a game where their women's team won. And Boston makes me think of the "Good Will Hunting" guys, and they're not doing very much right now.

Gonzaga vs. Texas
BP: Wait, Gonzaga's in Spokane, Washington?!?! I didn't know about that!!! Texas.

National Championship
UConn vs. Texas
BP: I don't know. I can only take this so far. I mean, I can only get them to this point...

$0.15

This is How We Chill...

Hey gang,

So we ain't posted one of these in awhile so here's a really good one. Coming out of my neck of the woods, the Bay Area, here's a "Dime & a Nickel" favorite, the Souls of Mischeif with "'93 'Til Inifnity."

Before hyphy and all that, there was Hieroglyphics, and Digital Underground and some other cool cats that did their thing for the Bay Area Hip-hop scene. This one is fo' real a classic, so enjoy...



Anthony

Slang Word of the Day: 3/16

Light-weight (lahyt-weyt):
-adjective
-Origin: Bay Area
-UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD THE WORD "LOW-KEY" BE SUBSTITUTED!!!

As a young person, and as a colored person, but most of all as a young colored person I enjoy using what the elderly and English teachers, but most of all the elderly English teachers would call "slang." But I do not like it when people don't use slang correctly.

This week's word, is "lightweight." Lightweight basically means "kind of," or a "little bit." It is meant to be used in circumstances when there are shades of gray. For example, one can be "lightweight hungry," like when you won't go to the kitchen and make something to eat for yourself, or you won't reach over to your phone and order a pizza, but if say, someone were to offer you a half-eaten sandwich, you'd take it and eat it so fast it looked like you made out with it. That's lightweight.

In addition, one can be "lightweight tipsy." Say for example, your make-up is a little smeared and you're slurring your speech, but you're definitely not giving your number out to the Marine that keeps asking you to dance and has followed you all over the club. That's lightweight.

"Lightweight" is a status that can be easily changed. Thirsty, tired, poor. "Lightweight" should not be used with concrete things. For example, one cannot be "lightweight engaged." You're either wearing a ring, or you're not. Just like you can't be "lightweight pregnant." You're either with child, or you're not.

Further, I have heard some people use the word "low-key" in place of "lightweight." This is a HUGE slang faux pas. Never, ever, use the word "low-key."

White people, consider this your lesson for the day.

$0.15

Appendectomies Suck

As some of you may know, I had to get an emergency appendcetomy last week. It went well, I'm feeling a lot better (thanks a lot for the well-wishes BTW). And it was quite an interesting experience. Here's a running diary of how it went down. (Note: The times are a guesstimation, and are in Hawaiian Standard Time.)

Sunday, March 1st, 10:13 am: I wake up, pay the prositute (not true), brush my teeth and don't shower (true) cuz I'm already 13 minutes late for work @ the Student Center. In other words, I'd still be 20 minutes ahead of Cyle. I have what I would call, a "minor stomachache." (Is that two words or one?) I had Burger King the night before, I figure I'll just poop @ school and lie down on the couch and it'll go away like 100% of the other stomachaches I've had my entire life.

1:00 pm: Stomach is hurting badly. Going #2 isn't helping and lying down isn't doing much either. That was my Plan A, I do not have a Plan B. I don't even have an appetite to go to the caf and get free breakfast. Something must be wrong.

1:30: I have a Plan B!!! Taking a page out of my Grandma's playbook, I decide to get a Sprite from the vending machine. All that's missing is the Vicks Vap-O-Rub. Blacks have Robitussin (or "'Tussin" as Cyle calls it) Greeks have Windex, and Latinos have Sprite (7-Up also works) and Vicks Vap-O-Rub. (Or what my Grandma would call, "Beaks.")

2:00: Sprite tastes the same being vomited out of your mouth as it does going down your esophagus. In other words, it's the exact opposite of tequila. P.S. Thank you Raekwon for buying me that shot of Goose on my birthday, I truly appreciate it, although you prolly should've saved your money cuz after we took it I casually strolled to the bathroom (fully composed) and yakked out my soul. It's amazing what a couple of sips of water, some gum, and pinpoint accuracy can do. No one noticed. If I do say so myself, that was pretty clutch. I really should've tipped the bathroom attendant.

3:00: My shift is over and Niggy comes to relieve me (that's what she said). I tell him of my problem, and ask him if I should go to the ER. White people seem to know a lot about medicine. He says to wait it out. It's a good thing he's here.

3:15: I seek the ultimate advice, I call my Mom. She's a doctor, not the M.D. kind but the Ph.D kind. Close enough. "Wait and see if it goes away, if it doesn't by tomorrow go to the ER."

5:30: I wake up on the couch and my stomach still hurts. I ask Niggy what time it is, he says 5:30. I've been sleeping for a little less than 2 and a half hours. This sucks.

7:00: I head home to Pepcid AC, and sleep.

Monday, 3/2, 3:00am: I can't take it anymore. There's no relief for the pain. Lie on my back, it hurts. Lie on my side, it hurts, lie on my stomach...let's say that was a really REALLY bad idea. I call my Moms and Dad to tell them and get a ride to the hospital.

3:30: Hospitals are notoriously slow for getting people treated but I get to a bed right away...AND in walks my nurse, who I went out and partied with a week earlier during Mardi Gras. (Sidebar: For Mardi Gras I went out w/ my boy Mike and his work buddies to a block party in Chinatown. Mike works as a security guard @ the hospital I was @ and all the girls we had gone out w/ that night were nurses. Natalya is one of them, and she's now about to stick an IV in my arm. Let's just say you feel a little different about someone when you see paint and glitter on their faces, double-fisting Coronas. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.)

3:35: The results are in...IT'S A GOOD THING! "We're gonna give you morphine for the pain." WAY TO GO, NATALYA! I'm gonna pretend that she's doing it cuz she enjoyed my company on Mardi Gras.

3:37: Morphine does not play around!!! As soon as she said she was putting it in my IV, I start to get light-headed. If I see a dragon I'm gonna be freaked out. And oh yeah, it kinda made the pain go away.

3:40: I can't help but feel weak when I look @ the screen for the heart monitor thingy. You're looking @ it like, "Please keep beeping. Please." If it stops, well, as my Dad would eloquently say, "That's your ass."

3:45: They're gonna do a CT scan but first they need me to drink a whole liter of this orange stuff which is gonna make my insides glow-in-the-dark so they can see it better on the x-ray. It tastes like a combination of lead, whale piss, and Orange Kool-Aid, everyone knows that Red is the best flavor.

4:00: Apparently whale piss makes you have to pee.

4:20: And again.

4:45: And again.

5:15: See above.

5:45: I fall in and out of sleep, I can hear the doctor talking into his handheld voice recorder. (I didn't know they actually did that.) "Patient's complaining of abdominal pain. I don't think it's appendicitis." I was glad to hear this @ the time, but I shoulda foreseen the foreshadowing here, huh?

6:00: Time for my CT scan. They roll me in my bed to the x-ray room. That was kinda cool.

6:02: I see this arch-looking thing that they're gonna put me under to take my x-ray. It looks like something out of a sci-fi movie when the aliens kill the human and then eat their intestines to regenerate their power. This isn't so cool anymore.

6:05: Male Nurse: "I"m putting something in your IV for the catscan. You're gonna feel warm all over from head to toe and you're gonna get a metallic taste in your mouth." Yay...yea, this is definitely not cool anymore.

6:06: The warming senstation hits. Please don't pee myself, please don't pee myself, please don't pee myself. Uh-oh.

6:07: Good news, I didn't pee myself...but I did throw up. Everywhere. Apparently that's a side effect of that warm/metallic thing. My vomit is orange, remember what I said about throwing up Sprite, add "piss: whale" to that file. Luckily Greg Focker gave me a bowl in time. This is so not cool.

6:30: They have the results of my CT scan. "Mr. Garcia, you actually do have appendicitis and we're gonna have to do emergency surgery right away." Well then...

7:00: My surgeon, Dr. Pedro comes in and talks to me. A Samoan with a last name of "Pedro," you figure that one out. He has this suave accent, he's got one of those accents that makes him sound like he has chest hair and is very popular w/ the ladies. No homo.

7:10: Just to scare the S#!t outta me, the hospital makes me sign a "If you die during surgery, you and your family can't sue us" contract. I think of saying, "Hey guys, did you want me to sign it in blood, cuz ya know, I could do that if you wanted to." I decide against it, this man is about to cut into my body and remove an organ (not to mention he sounds like he could probably seduce my mother and two sisters), it's probably best not to piss him off.

7:15: Just for fun, the assistant surgeon wants to stick something up my butt!!! This is quite possibly the worst day of my life and it's barely a quarter-over. Really, it's 7:15 in the morning and you wanna go up my anus? Can I have a cup of coffee, a donut, and read the paper first?

7:16: "Turn to your side and hold onto the railing."

7:17: YYYYYYYEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

7:18: The nurse leaves but I still don't wanna turn over. I'm still holding onto the railing. I'm too scared to move.

7:19: Let's pretend this never happened.

7:20-8:20: Please don't give me a catheter! Please don't give me a catheter! Please don't give me a catheter!

8:20: They move me to the pre-surgery room where the nurse helps me get undressed, that was an experience.

8:30: In walks the most important person in my life right now, the anesthesiologist. He makes anesthesiologist jokes, "You won't wake-up during, hopefully you'll wake-up after." I feel like they teach you these in anesthesiology school. I'm too nervous to laugh. I feel like pilots and anesthesiologists should never, ever, joke around. Ever.

8:35: Dr. Pedro's back. Surgery's gonna start @ 8:45-ish, it's gonna take an hour. "Good, so, I'll be able to watch "Price Is Right" after?" I ask. Nobody laughed.

8:45-ish: They wheel me in. Called my parents, they sound terrified, good times! My Dad makes a "What if you don't come out of surgery joke?" I can't wait 'til he tears another meniscus.

8:50: They put the mask on my face, and the doctor pinches my neck. Goodnight everbody!

Not sure what time it is: I wake up in another room w/ the mask on my face, I'm groggy. My side hurts, someone pats me on the shoulder. I'm guessing it went well. A lot of white people around, did I die and end up in the wrong Heaven? That would suck.

5 min. later: "The surgery was a success, Mr. Garcia. You did well." I was passed out from the anesthesia and laying there, but if you say so!
Me: "What time is it?"
Nurse: "11:30."
11:30: 11:30! 11:30!!! This was supposed to be an hour-long surgery.
11:31: First two thoughts after that: 1. Oh no, my parents are gonna think I'm dead!!! 2. More importantly, I missed "Price Is Right!"

P.S. Everything else after wasn't very noteworthy. Thanks to everyone who showed up and brought balloons, flowers, cards, and didn't hug me too tight, and to everyone who called, Myspaced, and Facebooked. It may not seem like much, but it meant a lot to me. Thank you, fo' reals.

P.P.S. If you would like to donate to the "Joseph Anthony Carlos Garcia Fund for Joseph Anthony Carlos Garcia" and help me pay for the expenses, (hospital visits ain't cheap!!!) please feel free to contact me.

SNSJ: "Climax" by Slum Village

Ooooweee! Wuts good folks?!! It is another beautiful sunday night and we have an oh so dope slow-jam from S.V. It's called "Climax", but I think it should've been named "3 ON 1"...yea...ahaha, anywayz. It's a coo video and check out the guest appearance by Mr. Coleman...Wut u talkin about Willis!!? ahaha, i'm sorry...I just wanted to say that out loud. ENJOY!

VJ Peter Darker and Company

WTF?! Does Anybody Feel Me?!

Wuts good folks!? I need some help right now…Can someone, in God’s great-jolly-green earth, tell me that it’s only my imagination that NBC gave Jimmy Fallon a talk show let alone a comedic one, in place of Conan O’Brien’s previous spot (Rest In Peace). Really NBC?! I feel like there are a lot of reasons why this is not a good decision on NBC’s part, but only one stands out…HE’S NOT FUNNY!!!!!

Let’s be real (or as some of my “ethnically challenged” friends might say, “For Pete Sakes!”), how many times, while watching an SNL skit, did you get frustrated and annoyed when Jimmy Fallon popped into frame?! He's still the reason why I don't like the "Weekend Update". Don't get me wrong, I like Tina Fey but Jimmy Fallon scarred me...(no pun intended). Or when you're at the movies, and during the best part (previews) seeing him in a movie…yall remember Taxi?...Exactly! (God Bless Queen Latifah’s soul)

I just don’t see the logic in having a person who’s not funny, host a comedic talk show. This would be like having Michael Vick replace Cesar Millan as the Dog Whisperer...it would be entertaining and kinda funny, but that’s not the point folks! And all this time I felt that Carson Daly was outta place…FEEL ME?!

Clyde Tha Glyde
10’s & 5’s

SNSJ: "Superman" by Robin Thicke

Wuts good folks!? It is a sunday night and the perfect opportunity to vibe wit a special somebody to our Sunday Night Slow Jam. Tonite, we got one from Robin Thicke's second album, it's called "Superman" and this one is 4TL (For The Ladies). Enjoy.

Cyle and Friend(s)?...

PS- This version skips a little at tha end but tha quality is still good (i know ghetto. GET OVER IT! aha) Oh, and alot of people don't know this, but Mr. Thicke (i feel uncomfortable saying his name like that...no homo) is married to, in my opinion, one of the finest actress' out there Paula Patton. She played in Idlewild, Deja-Vu, Mirrors and some other ones i don't remember. Oh, she supposedly has a part in this movie called Push but not the one with the super powers which i have an agenda on but don't have time to discuss it now, but shall in due time mi amigos...peace

Robin thicke Superman -

Super Bowl XLIII

Americans are dumb. I understand the "Underdog Factor," but how else can you explain that multiple polls have more than 50% of the American public picking the Cardinals to win? Not who they're rooting for, not if they think the Cardinals will cover, but to win.

What?!

The Steelers, who are favored by a TD, went 12-4, that's the 2nd-best record in the NFL this year and 3 games better than the 9-7 Cardinals, who played in the worst division in the NFL, the NFC West.

So, how the hell are the Cardinals being picked by America to win the Super Bowl over the Steelers?

America is stupid.

The Steelers have looked nothing short of impressive this postseason; beating the Chargers and Ravens with a less-than 100% Ben Roethlisberger and not having Hines Ward for most of the AFC Championship game. Meanwhile, the Cardinals played the Falcons, who weren't a good road team (4-4 this year) and a rookie QB. Then they played the Panthers, whose QB Jake Delhomme (5 INTs) decided he wanted to crap the bed. And then came the Eagles, who the Cardinals blew an 18-point lead to only to come back late and win.

The Cardinals are playing w/ house money at this point. Meanwhile, the Steelers have a GREAT defense. Yes, the Cards have a high-octane offense with Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, and Anquan Boldin, but they don't have a running game. The week before the playoffs started Edgerrin James told the team he wanted to leave. No seriously, here's the link. Read it, I'll wait...

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs2008/news/story?id=3805610

(waiting...)

And Tim Hightower's only a rookie. America, you're telling me that the one-dimensional Cardinals offense is going to beat the Steelers defense with Defensive POY James Harrison and Troy Polamalu (BTW, I just heard Polamalu speak for the 1st time on this pre-game show, I never noticed how high-pitched his voice is. Makes me a little skeptical about the Steelers now. I digress.)

On paper, and on the field the Steelers should win, but they already have won...in my dreams. For the past couple of years I've had sports dreams, and more often than not they come true. In 2002 I had a dream War Emblem, who was going for racing's Triple Crown, would not only lose the Belmont Stakes, but not finish in the Top 3. He didn't. Last year, I had a dream Floyd Mayweather was gonna knock out Ricky Hatton in the 8th round, Hatton went down in the 9th. A couple days ago I had a dream that I read the score of Super Bowl XLIII...

Steelers 43, Cardinals 13.

Let's hope for a better game than that.

Anthony

P.S. For the record, I'm picking the Steelers to win but am rooting for the Cardinals.

P.P.S. Some other Super Bowl tidbits...

*Apparently the teams that stay @ the hotel that the Cardinals are staying @, college and pro, have won 8 in a row. Gotta love that hotel karma.

*Prop Bet: Over/under of Jersey # to score 1st TD: 38.5. Santonio Holmes (#10), Edgerrin James (#32), Larry Fitzgerald (#11), Mewelde Moore (#21), Tim Hightower (#34), Ben Roethlisberger (#7)...take the under!

*I hate that the Super Bowl tries to cater to the "casual fan." I don't wanna hear John Legend singing "Green Light" w/ T-Pain filling-in for Andre 3000. I don't wanna see Al Roker interviewing celebrities plugging their movies. I don't care about who Vin Diesel wants to win. I don't wanna see Conan O'Brien and his terrible hairdo kicking field goals, AND I DON'T WANNA SEE JOURNEY! EVER! Really NFL, it's been the die-hards like me who have been watching the NFL since the pre-season started in July and you're gonna show me a trailer for "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"??? Really?!?!? Why piss off the real fans to get the casual fans instead of the other way around. Whack...

Enjoy the game everybody!