They Said it, Not Us: Thug 101

Two of my best buddies out here in Hawaii go by the aliases of Brown Nino and Niggy. Niggy is your average, everyday white guy who played Magic in high school, and spends most of his days playing Gears of War and poker online. Brown Nino, well, remember those toys the "Lil' Homies?" Well, Brown Nino is a real-life Lil' Homie. Thnking he's hard, and listening to his gangsta rap, only he has a high-paying job that makes him wear a ridiculous aloha shirt and he's graduating in five years because he's double majoring. But he still thinks he's a thug.

So, I was over at Brown Nino and Niggy's house the other day, (yes, these polar oppostite people live together, I'm surprised Niggy isn't dead and Brown Nino isn't in jail) and me and Niggy were on the XBox 360 and Brown Nino was cupcaking on the phone. Now, what kind of a friend would I be if I didn't talk $#!t to one of my boys while he's spitting game to a girl, right? So me and Niggy are getting on Brown Nino, when him and Niggy have this exchange.

Brown Nino: "I'm a thug! Thugs don't love!"
Niggy: "Oh, do thugs double major in college?"

Once again...

THEY SIAD IT, NOT US...

Anthony

They Said It, Not Us- Family Feud

Wuts good folks!? Peter Darker here. Earlier today I was watching Family Feud, not only because it's entertaining to watch but also because of the dumbest answers some of these people blare out and today’s episode was nothing short of my expectations. So both families had one person from each side go to the front for a head to head. Now, if you've never seen the show (which should not be the case unless you're from Calcutta) each person has a chance to participate in the head to head. The main goal is to hit the buzzer before the other person and answer with one of the top surveyed answers for a question. So, two people from both families come up to the buzzer, one being the genius that inspired this. The host asked the question, "What might excite a dog?" and before you could blink, this dude hits the buzzer with a quickness...he abruptly answers,"...COLORS!!"...yes folks, colors...think about it lol…and if you’re too slow/lazy to think about it, dogs are colorblind. Once again, this is Peter Darker, informing you that if you say something dumb, 10 & 5 will put you on blast!

Management

They Said It, Not Us: Mr. Garcia

My Dad's a nut. Hella goofy, I guess that's where I get it from. But he's always messing things up! He'll always try to use slang or say something "hip," but he fails miserably. Like, all the time.

We were watching a movie in Hawaii one time, and it said something like, "Mahalo for not using your cell phones" or something like that on the screen. And my Dad in his infinite wisdom goes..."Mahalo...maholla...maholla @ me!!!" (Awkward silence.)

So, the other day, Pops is getting ready to go out to a restaurant. It turns out, his friend Rick, who DJs, is gonna be DJ-ing that night at the restaurant. Here's the conversation...

Me: Rick's gonna DJ? Does he have a DJ name?
Dad: DJ Rick.
Me: Fo' real?!
Dad: No.
Me: DJ Rick on the wheels of steel!!!
Dad: Yea! On the 2's 3's!!!

Yikes...

Anthony

They Said It Not Us: How One Gets a Cock-Eye

So last week I was celebrating my homegirl's 21st b-day @ her house. She was a having a lil' BBQ, and of course, what would a 21st b-day BBQ be without...(DRUMROLL)alcohol!

So the Corona and Grey Goose were flowing (yup, that's how we roll!), and it appeared that one of my lady friends had consumed a little too much. She announced to no one in particular that she has a cock-eye, and when she gets drunk (like she was @ the time), it becomes more noticeable. (I've known this person for 4 years, and I've never noticed her apparent "cock-eye.")

It was then, that my other lady friend made this classic statement...

"You know why you got a cock-eye? Cuz you look at cock too much!"

Whether or not this is true or not, I don't know, but once again...

They said it, not us.

Anthony

They Said It, Not Us...Halloween Edition

So, Young Sumo, me, and 2 of our lady friends were walking into a restaurant to get something to eat. As we were passing cars in the parking lot, we saw one car that had a license plate that read "SRCTZN". I thought it was obvious, Young Sumo apparently isn't as hooked on phonics.

YS, in his infinite wisdom goes, "What does that say, 'circunsized?'"

(Um...First of all, that's not even a word, it's 'circumsized,' and I'd bet that you probably don't have a "mushroom tip," you filthy Philistine!)

ME: "It says "senior citizen. You dumbass."

Much love to Young Sumo, but he's evidence that sometimes, stereotypes aren't necessarily true...

Once again...THEY SAID IT, NOT US...

Management

They Said It, Not Us

College has taught me 2 main things about other people, that:

1.) People are mean.

and...

2.) People are stupid.

Since mean people suck, we think it's funnier to write about people being stupid. So we're adding a new wrinkle to our blog entittled, "They Said It, Not Us," in which we tell about instances where people say/do stupid things.

The other day I was talking to a friend about water, now, for all the intellligent people out there it goes without saying that water, chemically, is two parts Hydrogen, and one part Oxygen. This particular person apparently failed Chemistry. Here's the conversation...

Friend: "I like to water down my Kool-Aid. Add some of that H, Two, Zero."
Me: "What?"
Friend: "Yea, that H-20.

They said it, not us...

10&5