Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Slang Word of the Day: Do You Drive a "Hoopty?"

Now, I don't mean to clown (Well, kinda). There's a bunch of cats out there that ain't got cars, or even licenses, but if you do have a ride, it HAS to be presentable. Guy likes girl, girl likes object. Guy uses objects to get girl. It's that simple. To quote Dave Chappelle, "If a man could f*** a girl in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house." A presentable car is a must if you're gonna pull broads, fellas. It's the way of the world. If you're riding around in a "hoopty," you might as well be driving your Nikes or waiting on the bus stop.

That leads us to today's word, "hoopty." A hoopty is a noun, and is a beaten-up, raggedy-looing, "ghetto" car. If you don't know what one is, well, let's just hope you're not driving one. Need help figuring it out? It's a good thing we're here...

*If you only have rims on one side of your car...you're driving a hoopty.
*If your car can't reverse, and you have to physically push it to get it out of a parking stall...you're driving a hoopty.
*If you live in Hawaii and your A/C doesn't work...you're driving a hoopty.
*If the driver door lock doesn't work, and you get in your car buy unlocking the shotgun door and then reaching over and unlocking the driver-side door...you're driving a hoopty.
*If your windshield wipers don't work...you're driving a hoopty.
*If when you roll your window up and it goes down, and when you roll it down, it goes up...you're driving a hoopty.

Consider yourselves informed, and remember, no matter what piece of s*** car you drive, to always buckle-up!


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